Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Unraveling

Why do all my trip narrations have to end with the word "disaster"?

We went to a popular tourist town by the beach this weekend for a mini-vacation. I was a little nervous with Taz unraveling so quickly this week. But I figured playing at the beach, swimming in a pool, watching the boats, what 4 year old wouldn't have fun doing that?

Mine, that's who.

I can't understand how on earth a little boy just can not seem to have fun on vacation. And a kid centered vacation at that!

I don't know if the issues centered around anxiety or depression or being outside our normal routine.

He wanted to switch activities every 20 minutes, which is great for camp, but not so great when you just packed up all your swim stuff and got in the pool with a 1 year old who loves the water. So we had a lot of meltdowns, a whole lot of whining, and some perseverating on random thoughts and ideas.

We left early, as usual. It made me incredibly sad, as usual. Can we ever go on vacation again? Why can't my kid seem to have fun like normal kids? Why does everything overwhelm him so much? Are doomed to stay in our house forever?

I have scabs on my hands and arms from where he scratched me and made me bleed. It's really hard for me to remove him from places now that he's bigger and really strong. I can do it but not without getting hurt. Especially if I'm juggling something else in my arms, a purse, (or a baby perhaps!). This weekend I had my husband to help, which it turns out is a necessity on vacations. I would even venture to say that if we were to do a vacation again, we would need other adults to help too.

Anyway, I'm visiting my best friend who lives out of state for the next few days and having a blast! This trip has cleared me, temporarily, of the troubles at home. I'll post again with some more thoughts and details later.

Oh, and Taz's mood...didn't get any better when we got home.

2 comments:

  1. Breathe deep and enjoy your break, Mama!

    I have trouble like you describe, too - will we ever be able to _______________ again? It's very discouraging and I don't know the answer, but I hear you.

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  2. Liza is the exact same way! She begs to get there, then in 20 minutes, she's practically doing flips to leave.
    I wanted to go to the beach so badly this summer, but I just couldn't stand the thought of going and having her act like she does when we go on vacation. Then, once we get home, it takes her days to peel herself off the ceiling. It is frustrating!

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