Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Home. For Now

Taz is home today.

He slept like crap. He kept waking up wanting to go in our bed. Or afraid he was going to pee in his bed, even though he wears a pull-up. Dh wonders what nighttime was like at the hospital.

Taz is pretty much back to where we left off. He's calmer but mostly because he's tired. The meds are making him really drowsy and groggy. Dr. F assures me that will wear off within the week.

He's not manic like he was when we brought him to the hospital more than a week ago. But he's irritable.

And still aggressive.

Perhaps not as often. But when things don't go his way, he is still throwing chairs at me, scratching and biting.

I don't know what I was hoping for. A miracle? A cure? I know there isn't one but I've seen Taz do really well on certain medications. Until they wear off.

Now I'm wondering if there is no drug that can halt his aggression. And since he can't predict consequences, where does that leave us?

Maybe we need to be really creative about management strategies. We need to make him a calm down room where he can't destroy anything. Maybe we need more than one person in the house all the time.

I don't know.

If the tiredness doesn't stop within a few days we'll have to take him off the Intuniv. Maybe that will help with the crankiness. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what to expect. I don't know who to believe. I don't know what to do.

Like our outpatient psychiatrist said over the phone yesterday.

"Taz is a kid with a lot of problems."


  1. Alright, we'll see if THIS comment goes through. I keep leaving them and Blogger keeps on eating them. We are symbiotic, Blogger and me.

    I'm just broken hearted for all of you, hating that you aren't getting more sensitive treatment. Your situation is a large part of the reason I've written so many posts lately about crappy care, stigma, and all the rest. Is it not enough that we have to watch our children suffer? Must we also be blamed and abused?

    I'm thinking about you, praying for you, hoping that there is some kind of change for the better, and soon.

    Much love.

    Oh, and love the new look!

  2. Oh, that final line in your post just breaks my heart. It makes me sick that when parents turn to professionals there is only so much they can do. I too worry about what happens when the meds don't work anymore.

  3. Well I am glad he is home with you. It is so frustrating with these kids and the Dr's who really sometimes seem to have no clue. With my daughter, we have confirmed alcohol use and withdrawls at birth and some of the facial features. But she has a ton of the CNS and behavioral/cognitive issues. One thing that you keep saying and it always pops out at me as a classic FASD characteristic is that Taz doesn't learn from consequence. Out of all the drugs these biomoms can do alcohol does the most long term brain damage.
    I hope the Intuniv stops making him groggy and that you can find something for his aggression. Is he still on abilify too? I know that can tend to be activating for some. Seroquel and Risperdal tend to be not so activating. And I know with E, my daughter, the adding of the mood stab has really helped with anger issues. I mean really, all we are doing is treating their symptoms and Taz sounds like he needs something different for his anger/aggression. No matter what the diagnosises are the anger is still there. Too bad it always seems so black and white by some dr's. Hang in there! I check often for updates :))

  4. I have told you before about my 9 year old and I wanted to let you know what we have done in the past for a safe room (and we just did it again) He was sharing a room with his brother but that was not working out so we went back to him having his own room and it is a very simple room where all the toys can be locked in the closet during a rage! He then only has his twin bed in the room and yes he still moves it around the room when in full blown rage but he cannot hurt himself or others! I also put some foam mats in his window with a sheet covering the window to keep him from breaking out the window (which he has done in the past). So it is a matter of me keeping the room very portable because the minute a rage starts I have to grab everything that can be thrown at my head or used as something to hurt himself or me and throw it all in the closet and lock the closet door! Sometimes during this time he will get a few hits in on me but at least he is not running around the house causing harm to himself or his brother and sisters. I feel sad sometimes when I look at his room compared to his sibling rooms and his looks kinda empty but on the up side his little brain does better without so many stimulating things around the room while he trying to sleep! Our whole family has had to make changes for T and we all get upset about it but we all know that it is best for the family when T is stable!

  5. My heart and love goes out to you and your family. I remember when my oldest son was the same way. His melt downs were unbelievable. Only other parents that were going through the same as me could understand and that left me feeling alone and helpless. I wasn't pleased at all with how the medical establishment tries to handle things when it comes to our children. Sometimes i feel like all of our kids are treated the same by them. I just want you to know that your great for all your effort and you are appreciated even though sometimes you don't feel like it and your house might be going crazy but you are believe me. I have 7 children 2 with autism and sometimes it can be hard but hang in there. As for my son who used to have the melt downs, he's 18 now and he is no longer aggressive hasn't been in years. So I hope that will happen for you as well.

  6. My son became aggressive, argumentative, and very angry all of sudden when he turned 17. Because pediatricians on see kids up to 16 and psychiatrists only see adults over 18, he fell thru the cracks. No one would even see him. He says he didn't suffer any trauma, he just felt unfocused and angry almost overnight. He would pace and rant and rave while rubbing his hands together. When no one could help us, we had to try things for ourselves. Our son went from a kid who won the award for the highest mark in his grade for science and music every year to barely passing last year - an average of 54.

    We discovered 5-HTP on the internet. He takes it twice a day to help with his seratonin levels. It takes effect within 10 minutes. I kid you not. He literally goes from verbally abusive the the wonderful son I remember within 10 minutes of taking the vitamin. There are no side affects for him, but others have vivid dreams and nightmares. I'm not sure if your son at his young age could take it, but maybe it's something to look into.

  7. I love the blog name you picked! You are doing a great job parenting Taz and I very much agree with what you shared here. Dead on!